We Taught You Not To Love by Rashini D Selvasegaran

A poem and conversation with a late loved one on their mistakes.

First published in Pandan Weekly in January 2025.

​From the author:

“We Taught You Not To Love” is a reflection on a woman’s unresolved resentment towards her grandparents, which resurfaces one day when she walks past the altar where her late grandmother’s portrait is. The sandalwood is a significant aspect of Indian culture; it acts as a bond from the late grandmother to seek forgiveness and remind the persona that she was never unworthy of love.

I would like to thank Stephanie and Rex from SEA Lit Circle, who gave me a safe space to workshop my poem and supported me in taking my work further.

Listen to the author read her work:

The scent of sandalwood
caressed my nape,
stopping me in my tracks.
One glance
was all it took.

My child.
Her voice floated from the altar.
You are always my dear.
I tried to block her out.
It is not your fault.

The house stood silent.
I looked at our pictures,
masks glued to our faces,
Love was taught to be
earned and asked for.

We taught you what love isn’t.
I broke free of my trance.
Unlearn our teachings, my child.
Her sobs bled from the altar,
How do I learn what Love is?

Let us go and see the love you hold within.
I looked at her portrait now,
she stared back lovingly.
Her sandalwood engulfed me,
held me and vanished.

I’m sorry.

Rashini D Selvasegaran is a final-year literature student at Nanyang Technological University in Singapore, making her an emerging voice in the literary scene. She has contributed freelance write-ups to blogs, focusing on student life and the evolving literary landscape in Singapore. With a growing interest in spoken word poetry, Rashini explores themes of identity and the challenges of being a twenty-something navigating the complexities of today’s world.

Instagram: @radha_reads

TikTok: @radhareads

Substack: @rashinidselvasegaran

Thank you for reading!

Pandan Weekly is a bi-annual zine and weekly email series produced by SEA Lit Circle, a community of writers and readers from Southeast Asia and the diaspora. At SEA Lit Circle, we inspire each other to write fresh, compelling work that’s true to ourselves, and we encourage each other to read and be more open to new works, stories, and perspectives within and beyond the region.

Subscribe to Pandan Weekly’s newsletter by leaving your email below.

We’d love to feature your writing. We want the works you wish someone out there would resonate with; works you write for fun, for your peace of mind, or for you to understand the world or yourself better; works you wish you had grown up with—works that beg for connections, or empathy. Check our submission guidelines through the link below.