As I Ponder and Wonder by Soy Avocado

An ode to what enriches one’s past, present, and future.

First published in Pandan Weekly in January 2025.

​From the author:

‘As I Ponder and Wonder’ was written to the ‘Telepathic’ prompt during SEAPoWriMo 2024.

The title was a phrase I heard from my Bible study leader on the day of the ‘Telepathic’ prompt. So began this piece that ended with my personal prayer. I liked that ‘telepathy’, ‘empathy’, and ‘sympathy’ all share the same ‘path’, so the poem went along those lines. As a Christian, as I ponder and wonder, I need Christ’s help in keeping to the straight and narrow way, as I wander life’s path, hopefully, with empathy surfacing at times.

A question arising for the reader from ‘As I Ponder and Wonder’ is: As you ponder and wonder about what you have encountered in life, what comes to mind that touches your heart, that gives you breath and breadth for a fulfilling life?

Gratitude to Stephanie Shi, Isabelle Kish, and Ken Lam for being there for my workshop, my Bible study leader, all at SEA Lit Circle and Sing Lit Station for making this happen, and most of all, glory to God in the Highest.

Listen to the author read her work:

As I ponder and wonder strolling
Round the circumference of the pond,
I begin to wander and meander
Further, on unpaved paths of earth.

I reminisce on those ancient days,
Of cobblestone, my grandparents 
And their tombstones, now exhumed;
My shoes getting muddied

As they pass now, through puddles
Of my younger days, a boxed-up era
Of cathode-ray tube, cube-like teles
And cute, colourful teletubbies

With antennae to aid the path
Of synchronicity in fine-tuning 
The channels, some say, for telepathy,
Or for purposes of honing empathy?

Or for sympathy to encompass,
Encircle yet not ring to close borders
To (dis)place and box human beings
Into silos where filing is in categories.

The filofax was a fixture featuring
As organiser, a sort of ‘file of facts’,
Prior to the advent of the age
Of digital assistance and AI.

Filo, facts, facsimile, digitalisation,
All useful tools that aid humanity
In planning our calendars,
But can never ever fully replace us,

Explain, replicate the human element,
The emotions and myriad motions
That each journey takes us through; 
Telepathy seems to surface at times

Between individuals, and for those
Shared ideas, times I am grateful;
Though we may be walking on paths
That may only cross once in our lives.

This moment I shall not pass again;
I pray that I shall walk the next step
Led by my Lord and Shepherd, Jesus,
So that I might refrain from trespass.

—Jennifer Leong

Note: The stanzas may be read in any order and the lines from the bottom line upwards.

Pushcart Prize-nominee Jennifer Leong (Soy Avocado) started writing poetry in 2021 to raise funds for autism.

Through divine inspiration, she created the ‘DuaTresPentaStep’ poetry form. Her poem ‘Hills’ in this form won the Spirit of the Festival Award at the Frances Browne Literary Festival Multilingual Poetry Competition 2022 in Ireland.

Jennifer advocates for hope through her poetry, which is often multilingual and multidirectional.

For her, poetry allows the heart to speak, and uplifts the spirit. She is convinced everyone should try poetry and has facilitated Try Poetry workshops. She is active in written and spoken word.

Instagram: @soyavocado

Substack: @soyavocado

Thank you for reading!

Pandan Weekly is a bi-annual zine and weekly email series produced by SEA Lit Circle, a community of writers and readers from Southeast Asia and the diaspora. At SEA Lit Circle, we inspire each other to write fresh, compelling work that’s true to ourselves, and we encourage each other to read and be more open to new works, stories, and perspectives within and beyond the region.

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